Marriage
Earlier today I was at my grandmother’s mooching food off of her like any smart, broke college kid would do if they had a grandmother that liked to feed people living not but a few blocks from their campus. While I was there she had “Dr. Phil” on and there was this couple on the show that got married something like six weeks after they started dating, had been married for three years, and did nothing but fight with one another. They both claimed that they felt trapped by their marriage. How the fuck did they think it was gonna go? I mean, it’s a bit rash to get married that soon after meeting isn’t it? They’ve also got three kids; one was from the husband’s last marriage. I was watching this show and got to thinking about the idea of marriage and why it is I’ve always been so…adamant about remaining single.
I finally figured out why it is I’ve always shied away from the idea of getting married. At first, I thought it was just because I had some inborn fear of commitment but that isn’t entirely the case. Nay, it is more like I know I’m the type of person to make a decision—especially one as important as deciding to spend my life with someone—and stick with it.
This, might actually sound like a good thing, but what if the person I decided to marry ended up being a horrible mate? Dating for an indefinite amount of time, and even living with someone isn’t the same as being bound by marriage to them. In marriage, there isn’t that much room for the “self” when it comes to making important decisions as to move to another place for a career, change banks, and other such things. I don’t know if I could really trust anyone enough to have intimate knowledge of my finances, and I don’t know that I’d want to know so much about my partner’s. Some things I will always consider to be strictly my business come hell, high water, or the IRS.
And of course there’s the ideal of divorce. Things would have to be seriously bad for me to consider it, seeing how that I wouldn’t make the decision to wed lightly, and I’ve mentioned before that I’m a rather stubborn person. There wouldn’t be any chance of reconciliation, at least not on my end. With my luck I’d also get the short end of the asset stick as well. But, even though I’m not, and will never be, a rich woman there’s a good shot I’d force a prenuptial agreement on my spouse anyway. Damn, that says a lot about how much I trust people, doesn’t it?
You can say what you will about falling in love, I’m far too pragmatic and to some degree selfish to let myself fall into a decision like marriage without covering my ass. Does anyone else share my feelings on the subject, or am I just an exceptionally cold person for looking at marriage like its just some business contract?
--Jami
I finally figured out why it is I’ve always shied away from the idea of getting married. At first, I thought it was just because I had some inborn fear of commitment but that isn’t entirely the case. Nay, it is more like I know I’m the type of person to make a decision—especially one as important as deciding to spend my life with someone—and stick with it.
This, might actually sound like a good thing, but what if the person I decided to marry ended up being a horrible mate? Dating for an indefinite amount of time, and even living with someone isn’t the same as being bound by marriage to them. In marriage, there isn’t that much room for the “self” when it comes to making important decisions as to move to another place for a career, change banks, and other such things. I don’t know if I could really trust anyone enough to have intimate knowledge of my finances, and I don’t know that I’d want to know so much about my partner’s. Some things I will always consider to be strictly my business come hell, high water, or the IRS.
And of course there’s the ideal of divorce. Things would have to be seriously bad for me to consider it, seeing how that I wouldn’t make the decision to wed lightly, and I’ve mentioned before that I’m a rather stubborn person. There wouldn’t be any chance of reconciliation, at least not on my end. With my luck I’d also get the short end of the asset stick as well. But, even though I’m not, and will never be, a rich woman there’s a good shot I’d force a prenuptial agreement on my spouse anyway. Damn, that says a lot about how much I trust people, doesn’t it?
You can say what you will about falling in love, I’m far too pragmatic and to some degree selfish to let myself fall into a decision like marriage without covering my ass. Does anyone else share my feelings on the subject, or am I just an exceptionally cold person for looking at marriage like its just some business contract?
--Jami
